Tom Stories 2011

I drove to several local banks today to purchase two-dollar bills, and one of them only had $16 to give me, so I purchased those along with four georges. When I got home and opened up their envelope to enter my toms I noticed, much to my surprise, that two of the eight bills were red seals (1953A)! What are the odds? :-)

Anyway, I'll add these two bring my collection to a total of 3. Just thought I'd share

sends2aaron wrote:I drove to several local banks today to purchase two-dollar bills, and one of them only had $16 to give me, so I purchased those along with four georges. When I got home and opened up their envelope to enter my toms I noticed, much to my surprise, that two of the eight bills were red seals (1953A)! What are the odds? :-)

Anyway, I'll add these two bring my collection to a total of 3. Just thought I'd share

And they say $2 Bills aren't rare!!

Nice find on those 53a's.

By-the-way ... Tom's birthday is April 13 - make sure you enter some Toms!

Time to revive this thread.

Today, I hit up some banks for some twos. It just so happened that my route took me to 5 different PNC branches in the Dayton area (including one in a scary part of downtown, but that's another story altogether). I do not bank at PNC, but I've been to nearly 100 banks in my area, and I can count on one hand the times I've even been asked if I had an account at certain banks. Sure enough, at 4 of the PNC branches, I was never asked, and walked out with twos every time...

Except at my 4th stop.

I walked into this PNC, inquired the usual, to which the teller seemed thrilled about. But then she asked if I had an account with them. She claimed she needed to have an account number to put in the computer to complete a transaction. I simply told her I didn't, but that I had just been to 3 other PNC branches and they never even asked, let alone had to put anything into a computer.

The teller sort of got huffy and said "Well, I follow the rules, sir. I can't speak for the other banks."

I then asked her if this is a bank policy, then why has it NEVER been brought up at any other PNC branch I have visited, and that I've visited probably 20 or so different ones. Heck, there's two in my hometown that I've been to multiple times. I told her I found it extremely unbelievable that EVERY PNC branch didn't follow their own policy, and maybe she didn't really understand "the rules".

Well, apparently that infusion of logic into the situation set her off, because she was like "THAT'S JUST THE RULE SIR, I DON'T MAKE THEM" and then just walked away. In my frustration, I said outloud that this was a bunch of BS and then left the bank.

I then went to another PNC branch, was not asked about having an account, and walked out with $170 worth.

I did go on PNC's website to inquire about their policies toward cash exchanges with non-account holders. I'm genuinely curious. Either this teller doesn't know what she's talking about or PNC doesn't follow their own policies. When I get a reply, I'll be sure to post it.

TwoLiberator wrote:Time to revive this thread.

Today, I hit up some banks for some twos. It just so happened that my route took me to 5 different PNC branches in the Dayton area (including one in a scary part of downtown, but that's another story altogether). I do not bank at PNC, but I've been to nearly 100 banks in my area, and I can count on one hand the times I've even been asked if I had an account at certain banks. Sure enough, at 4 of the PNC branches, I was never asked, and walked out with twos every time...

Except at my 4th stop.

I walked into this PNC, inquired the usual, to which the teller seemed thrilled about. But then she asked if I had an account with them. She claimed she needed to have an account number to put in the computer to complete a transaction. I simply told her I didn't, but that I had just been to 3 other PNC branches and they never even asked, let alone had to put anything into a computer.

The teller sort of got huffy and said "Well, I follow the rules, sir. I can't speak for the other banks."

I then asked her if this is a bank policy, then why has it NEVER been brought up at any other PNC branch I have visited, and that I've visited probably 20 or so different ones. Heck, there's two in my hometown that I've been to multiple times. I told her I found it extremely unbelievable that EVERY PNC branch didn't follow their own policy, and maybe she didn't really understand "the rules".

Well, apparently that infusion of logic into the situation set her off, because she was like "THAT'S JUST THE RULE SIR, I DON'T MAKE THEM" and then just walked away. In my frustration, I said outloud that this was a bunch of BS and then left the bank.

I then went to another PNC branch, was not asked about having an account, and walked out with $170 worth.

I did go on PNC's website to inquire about their policies toward cash exchanges with non-account holders. I'm genuinely curious. Either this teller doesn't know what she's talking about or PNC doesn't follow their own policies. When I get a reply, I'll be sure to post it.

I bank with PNC....but I have never had any problem...never been asked.
Although, I normally use a branch where I am very well known....although, on a few occasions I have used other branches....and no problems, no one ever asked. not for a simple transaction involving me giving them a $100 bill for a strap of ones, anyway.

Kalisiin wrote:
I bank with PNC....but I have never had any problem...never been asked.
Although, I normally use a branch where I am very well known....although, on a few occasions I have used other branches....and no problems, no one ever asked. not for a simple transaction involving me giving them a $100 bill for a strap of ones, anyway.

I bank with FifthThird, although I've been to PNC banks, Chase banks, and US banks, as well as all the small local banks. I sometimes even try credit unions, although I know they are more strict about cash transactions, plus, the only twos they get tend to come from their customers. I've been asked only on 3 or 4 occasions if I had an account with any certain bank, and if they bring it up, I just use my standard "I've never been asked at any of your other branches" trick. It never failed once, until yesterday. I did ask a teller at Chase what their "rules" were, and I was told that at Chase, they only ask for an account number if you're asking for rolled coin (because that costs money for the bank to ship, thus they only want their account holders to have access to it) and if the cash transaction is for some insane amount (fear of money laundering). That's it though, and that makes perfect sense to me. I don't think there should be any rules on cash transactions if the amount is under a couple hundred dollars. I'm sure it's one of those things though that's probably official bank policy, even though it's never enforced and bank managers just go ahead and tell their tellers to use common sense and make sure their stations are balanced. I'm still awaiting word from PNC about it though.

Makes perfect sense to me.
Will be interested to hear any update.

Me, I generally don't do $2's, because my feeling is...why do a $2...when I could do 2 $1's and get TWO chances at a hit instead of just one chance? But that's me.

But you CAN have some fun with twos. For example, the most fun is to run up a bill of nine dollars and change at a fast-food place....then pay with a five and 3 Toms, and watch the teenage cashier's head explode! They cannot wrap their little brains around the idea that you need a dollar bill and coin change back. Of course, our schools have gone to hell in a handbasket, it isn't really their fault.

Not a Two story, but it dovetails with Liberator's.

I have banked with Wachovia for years, ever since they bought out Central Fidelity. I have a decent average daily balance with them - haven't bounced anything in something like 20 years. So, right before the cut-over to Wells Fargo, I go into a local Wachovia...

Me to Teller: I would like to buy some one dollar bills from you, 100 of them, please. (hands him 5 twenties)

Teller: Certainly sir, there will be a $ 5 fee.

Me (loudly): What? You are going to charge me a fee for exchanging currency? I know for a fact that this ISN'T bank policy and if you are trying to be funny, I am NOT amused. Hand me back my Twenties - Now.

Other Teller approaches: Sir, do you have an account with us?

Me: I most certainly do and I happen to have a few dollars in it, thank you very much. What difference would that make? Obviously this teller is very poorly trained if he thinks he can charge a customer a $ 5 fee for excchanging money. Again, I demand my money back. I recommend that you send this guy back to Teller training because he obviously isn't ready to treat customers appropriately.

Once I cooled down enough I went into another branch and had no problem.

dctim wrote:
Me to Teller: I would like to buy some one dollar bills from you, 100 of them, please. (hands him 5 twenties)

Teller: Certainly sir, there will be a $ 5 fee.

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding!!

dctim wrote:Not a Two story, but it dovetails with Liberator's.

I have banked with Wachovia for years, ever since they bought out Central Fidelity. I have a decent average daily balance with them - haven't bounced anything in something like 20 years. So, right before the cut-over to Wells Fargo, I go into a local Wachovia...

Me to Teller: I would like to buy some one dollar bills from you, 100 of them, please. (hands him 5 twenties)

Teller: Certainly sir, there will be a $ 5 fee.

Me (loudly): What? You are going to charge me a fee for exchanging currency? I know for a fact that this ISN'T bank policy and if you are trying to be funny, I am NOT amused. Hand me back my Twenties - Now.

Other Teller approaches: Sir, do you have an account with us?

Me: I most certainly do and I happen to have a few dollars in it, thank you very much. What difference would that make? Obviously this teller is very poorly trained if he thinks he can charge a customer a $ 5 fee for excchanging money. Again, I demand my money back. I recommend that you send this guy back to Teller training because he obviously isn't ready to treat customers appropriately.

Once I cooled down enough I went into another branch and had no problem.

I've heard other people say some banks have started charging fees for simple exchanges (although only if you're a non-account holder), but that has not happened to me yet. Still haven't heard anything from PNC either, and I should have today, but I'll give them through tomorrow.

And yeah, Kalisiin, I've done exactly that on a few occasions. I also like getting a whole wad of twos from a bank and watching the teller not be able to count by twos. While I know I could get twice as many bills out there if I used ones (and I have asked for a few straps of ones on occasion), I like the $2 because it's hardly seen, and I think it's just nice looking bill. I work at a few different schools as a substitute teacher (7-12 grades) and I happen to use an old USN $2 bill for a bookmark when I'm reading while they are working. The kids sometimes notice it and ask if it's real. I guess the red seal throws them off. If I really want to blow their minds, I'll take my money clip out of my pocket and show them about $50 worth of $2s. They simply have no idea about them; some have never seen one, others think they don't make them anymore, and they definitely can't believe you can just walk in a bank and get some.

I got an answer from PNC late last night. And another one after my reply to them. My initial reply is below, along with some backstory for my Facebook people that aren't aware of what I already explained here. I thought the email I wrote was funny so I posted it on Facebook, and I thought I would just link it here and people can read it there. I will warn that there are a few cuss words, no F-bombs, but some lesser ones. If that offends you, then don't click on it.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/ryan-sweeney/my-boyish-good-looks-give-me-expertise-in-what-bank-it-would-be-easy-to-launder-/10150356670530350

After another reply, I sent this follow up email. This one should be completely PG.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/ryan-sweeney/pnc-needs-to-hire-me-and-my-gestapo-like-police-force-to-crack-down-on-these-out/10150357190605350

You can see my whacked out humor first hand. If anyone knows who David Thorne is, then you will understand. Not saying I'm as good as he is, but I was proud of my work.

both links show unavailable

I'll just copy and paste them then. This is their initial response and my first email reply (edited out the two bad words).
--------
My previous note detailed my encounter with an overzealous teller hellbent on following PNC policy, despite the fact she would not (or more likely could not) tell me what that policy exactly was. Not to be deterred, I decided to send an email to PNC's corporate headquarters and ask them. I'll spare you my initial email, although I must say I did NOT send them the version I posted here. I received this reply, and it's pretty much what I expected:

On Thu, Aug 25, 2011 at 8:59 PM, Service1 wrote:
Dear Ryan Sweeney,

Thank you for your message. We apologize for any inconvenience however,
cash and coin exchange services are available to PNC Bank customers
only. We can not speak to exchanges that a branch may have made without
verifying that they were dealing with a customer.

We are sorry for any difficulty.

Sincerely,

Laura J. Speis
Internet Client Services
PNC Bank

Fair enough, but something strikes me as odd when only one PNC branch in the Dayton area is following this policy. This leads me to believe one of two things:

1) The policy is stupid and no one gives a (crap).
2) The employees are lazy and no one gives a (crap).

Based on that analysis of the situation, either these employees should be commended for using common sense rather than following some ridiculous policy that makes zero sense, or they should all be fired and replaced by robots. As much as I agree with choice number one, I have come to the realization that the only successful outcome for me in dealing with the absurdity of this policy, is to assume option number two. I also think the idea of robot tellers would be cool.

Going with option two, I decided to craft a well-written reply to "Laura", but not until I went on Mapquest and looked up all the addresses of every PNC branch I have visited that has not followed the policy explained by Laura. This number came to 21. Had I waited until after tommorrow, this number would of been 23. Had I waited a week, this number may have been as high as 30. However, given the seriousness of these security breaches, I felt a need to reply to Laura immediately.

Ryan Sweeney to Service1
show details 1:29 AM (15 minutes ago)

Laura,

I've been to over 20 branches (see below), and not a single one has asked me for an account except the location I mentioned in the first email. I guess if we were to assign "gold stars" like in elementary school, the PNC at Watervliet Ave. in Dayton would be the only branch of yours in the Greater Dayton area receiving one. The other branches would end up in after-school detention.

In fact, the teller at the Watervliet Ave location that refused to exchange out five twenties for fifty twos used the same doppelganger reply (paraphrased differently however) of "I can't speak for the other banks" as you did. Keep up the good work you splendid PNC footsoldier! Two gold stars for you!

Now back to your actual answer. According to my calculations, over 95% of the PNC branches I have visited are not following PNC's own policy. Oops! While you "can not speak to the other exchanges", it may be in your corporation's best interest to have another one of your fine doppelganger employees send out a memo to these renegade branches, who have decided to forgo official PNC policy, and operate instead based on 'common sense'. Since 'common sense' is not part of the PNC banking policy, drastic action has to be taken to whip the following locations back into line:

PNC Bank - 6 North Main St. Dayton, OH
PNC Bank - 1490 West Dorothy Lane, Dayton, OH
PNC Bank - 4389 West Third Street, Dayton, OH
PNC Bank - 2720 Far Hills Avenue, Oakwood, OH
PNC Bank - 182 Woodman Drive, Dayton, OH
PNC Bank - 4025 Wilmington Pike, Kettering, OH
PNC Bank - 3079 Woodman Drive, Kettering, OH
PNC Bank - 4100 Far Hills Ave, Kettering, OH
PNC Bank - 721 East Dixie Dr., West Carrollton, OH
PNC Bank - 3979 Indian Ripple Rd. Beavercreek, OH
PNC Bank - 1165 Miamisburg Centerville Road, Washington Twp, OH
PNC Bank - 1001 East Centerville Station, Centerville OH
PNC Bank - 8220 Springboro Pike, Miamisburg, OH
PNC Bank - 317 Sycamore Glen Drive, Miamisburg, OH
PNC Bank - 650 North Main Street, Springboro, OH
PNC Bank - 6220 Wilmington Pike Dayton, OH
PNC Bank - 3160 Dayton Xenia Road, Beavercreek, OH
PNC Bank - 860 Franklin Road, Springboro, OH
PNC Bank - 3359 Pendleton Circle, Middletown, OH
PNC Bank - 5262 Mills Road, Mason, OH
PNC Bank - 2761 Fairfield Commons Boulevard, Dayton, OH

I have personally visited all these banks on at least one occasion, and several on multiple occasions. As I said before, I do not have a PNC account (I do my banking with FifthThird, because I prefer my banks to be as fascist as possible), but yet I have managed to deftly sidestep my way around this policy to exchange cash with all of them. Oopsie! I guess this would have to be attributed to my boyish good looks, charm, and possibly my ray-ban sunglasses. If I wanted to wait a couple weeks, I'm sure I could easily add another 10-15 locations to the above list. In fact, I plan on going to two new ones I haven't visited yet tomorrow, and I'd be more than happy to keep you aware of whether or not the PNC employees are following proper protocol. Perhaps, through our combined efforts, we can get these slackers fired. After all, the most important part of working at a bank is "following the rules". Common sense cannot be tolerated.

You should also be lucky that a mere collector of two dollar bills brought these policy violations to your attention, because I doubt that a druglord in Dayton, OH would make you aware of the fact that they were successful in laundering thousands of dollars because PNC tellers were not following policy and asking for account numbers. In fact, if any druglords were to inquire my expertise as to what bank it would be easy to launder thousands of dollars in (and I do have such expertise, because I've been to over 250 banks in the Dayton area) I will, without hesitation, recommend PNC for their money laundering needs.

...Except the location on Watervliet Ave in Dayton.

Just something to think about

Sincerely,

Ryan Sweeney


The ball is in your court now PNC. Come at me bro.

Follow up to my last note:

Dear Ryan Sweeney,

Thank you for your reply. As per our previous response, we can not
speak to discretionary decisions made at a branch office regarding this
type of request. To address your concerns further we would recommend
writing to:

PNC Bank N.A.
Client Relations
P.O. Box 3429
Pittsburgh PA 15230-3429

Sincerely,

Laura J. Speis
Internet Client Services
PNC Bank

My response:

Laura,

I am confused by your answer. When you say, "We can not speak to discretionary decisions made at a branch office", do you mean, "PNC can not enforce our own bank policies", or do you mean, "I simply can not be bothered forwarding your email to someone who may actually be interested in the fact that none of your bank branches seem to be interested in following a policy devoid of any common sense"?

As per the last paragraph in my previous email, I personally don't care what your policies are. In fact, I applaud your renegade bank branches for not following your draconian policies. Today, at one of these branches, I was able to procure exactly $340 worth of two dollar bills, and one ten dollar bill, in exchange for seven fifties and infinite amounts of charm, which seemingly oozes from my body. Again, I was not asked if I had an account, or if I was a drug lord/money launderer.

While I am not either of the latter options, I am currently employed part time working in several area school districts. However, I am also keeping my options open, and have realized through this exchange that you are apparently suggesting that I can do YOUR job better than the way you are currently doing it. After all, you have suggested that I, myself, write to PNC, when you could of simply forwarded this email to the parties responsible for "bank policy enforcement". I can't understand why you would prefer that I physically sit down and write a letter, when you could easily forward what I have already stated in about three clicks of a mouse, but never mind logic, right? I briefly forgot that logic is not a part of PNC's policies.

Speaking of which, if I did have your job, I would hire a Gestapo-like police force and crack down on these outlaw bank branches, have the tellers jailed for "treason against PNC", and replaced by automated robots that say things like: "We can not speak to discretionary decisions made at a branch office regarding this type of request." I think this would be ultimately beneficial to PNC. Think of the money you could save by not having to pay employees that can not obviously be trusted not to follow the rules. Perhaps you should hire me to do this. I can send you a resume if you wish.

...And since you cannot be bothered to notify the appropriate channels to insure that proper bank procedures are being followed, I have to wonder if you are also part of this rebellion within PNC to not follow the rules. Either this, or you're too busy throwing a luau on your 100 foot yacht while lighting up cigars with $500 bills (and if you follow my previous advice and replace your employees with robots, then you can upgrade that yacht!). It's one or the other. Regardless, I will be more than happy to write a letter to PNC, and I'll also be sure to include this entire email exchange in it. That way the bosses at PNC can witness their doppelganger employees in action, and give each other gold stars for being able to give people with legitimate concerns for their business the "run-around".

Again, these are your bank's policies. They are not mine. It might not be your responsibility to see that they are enforced, even though you only work for them, but it is certainly not mine.

Sincerely,
Ryan Sweeney

Oh wow, what a letter. I doubt they had the ambition to read it. I belong to a credit union by me called COVantage they cater to all my odd request pres dollars, two dollar bills what have you as long as I am a member which requires only a $10 balance. No I am not mailing anyone unmarked bills. The best way is if you have a significant amount in a bank or even if you are just a member you ask for two's If they say they can't get them ask if they can put them on their next order for money. If they refuse say O.K. I would like to withdraw all my money and close my account please. You usually get what you want, it does work.

Matt_How wrote:Oh wow, what a letter. I doubt they had the ambition to read it. I belong to a credit union by me called COVantage they cater to all my odd request pres dollars, two dollar bills what have you as long as I am a member which requires only a $10 balance. No I am not mailing anyone unmarked bills. The best way is if you have a significant amount in a bank or even if you are just a member you ask for two's If they say they can't get them ask if they can put them on their next order for money. If they refuse say O.K. I would like to withdraw all my money and close my account please. You usually get what you want, it does work.

I did get a final reply from a different PNC Service person. Same story. I figured it would be like paddling upstream with a pair of toothpicks, but it was more for my personal satisfaction anyway.

And on top of that, I've been to about 5 more PNC branches since then; I walked out with twos every time. At one, they actually went to the vault for me and got me brand new bills, some of which I entered here. It still puzzles me that only one teller at a PNC branch actually asked me if I had an account with their bank, given that it actually IS their policy. I could understand if a few tellers didn't ask me, but I would of thought I would of been asked far more than once, considering I've made trips now to almost 30 branches of PNC, some multiple times, and probably talked to 50 different tellers...and only one actually asked. Maybe that particular rule-abiding teller was snapped at by a manager not long prior for something and now figures she has to follow every rule to the letter of the law. I don't know...

Another funny story. I was at a liquor store recently buying a bottle of rum. Total came to $16.50. Paid with seven twos and three ones. Some were well worn and some were fairly new. Some were marked, some weren't. I have paid there in twos before, and never had any issues. The cashier who rang me up has also been there awhile; in fact, I believe she had rang me up before, and I'm quite sure I paid with twos that time too...but anyway....

She takes my money, looks at it, puts all the twos on the counter and begins to mark each two with the pen. The ones she just ignores. So I asked her why she felt the need to mark twos, and if she really thought anyone would fake a $2 bill, particularly 7 of them. She replied, "I'm just protecting myself" and "Only if they can't get away with 20s." That said, she wasn't giving second thought to the ones. So then I asked her, "What about the ones, shouldn't you check those too, I mean, if you're going to be consistent?"

Then she actually marked the 3 ones as well. First time I ever saw a cashier do a pen test on a $1. I look at the guy waiting behind me and sort of roll my eyes at him. He seemed amused.

What I should do is get some of those brand new twos I got from PNC, spray them with starch, and spend them on that same cashier at the liquor store the next time I'm there. I wonder what craziness will go down when the pen test comes up as false-positive on them. Or would that just be evil?

I like your idea with the cashier.

I had a similar experience with a young cashier in Portland, OR, last year at a Best Buy. I paid for a CD with twos. She cocked her head to the side, stared at them, and then asked if I could "wait right there" for a minute. She came back with the manager who then rang up the purchase as he was apologizing for the delay.

Her look of confusion was priceless. You just can't buy that type of entertainment. Not with ones, anyway.

Tony wrote:I like your idea with the cashier.

I had a similar experience with a young cashier in Portland, OR, last year at a Best Buy. I paid for a CD with twos. She cocked her head to the side, stared at them, and then asked if I could "wait right there" for a minute. She came back with the manager who then rang up the purchase as he was apologizing for the delay.

Her look of confusion was priceless. You just can't buy that type of entertainment. Not with ones, anyway.

Another one from today.

I went to Arby's for lunch today. Paid with 4 twos.

The cashier was a nice lady, who was also training a teenage guy. I paid with the twos and they both thought they were neat, but then the lady said, "I need to get the pen to check them." There wasn't one there at the register, so I watched her run around like a chicken with her head cut off looking for one.

When she finally got one, I asked her "Why?", per my usual, when people feel the need to check twos. She said it was the policy made by the manager, and then said they had to mark all hundreds, tens, and twos. Apparently fifties, twenties, fives, and ones don't need to be checked. Or maybe she just doesn't really have a clue...

I sort of laughed, like I was just joking around (but I really wasn't), "Okay, so you have to check a two, but not a five. Not to be rude, but your manager sounds like an idiot."

I was hoping the manager would be close by and would of heard it, but I guess he wasn't. Neither cashier said anything else and I got my food and was on my way.

So if you go to the Arby's by the University of Dayton, feel free to counterfeit fives, twenties and fifties and spend them without repercussions, but don't you dare counterfeit any twos, because they WILL be checked.